I seem to start each of these little chapters with the same apology about the difficulty of remembering exactly the amount of time which passed between major milestones in our story.  But the reality is that as it is some 10 to 12 years since most of this happened.  I clearly don't forget what happened, but the exact detail of when is difficult to be accurate about.

Regardless, I knew for all of the reasons I have outlined, that I should accept Marie was probably building a life for you and herself with Paul and that I was doing the same in Manchester with my Spanish girlfriend.

So there was a long period where we didn't communicate at all.  And I mean a long period.  In all the time I had known Marie and with all the turmoil that there had been over that time, there probably hadn't been a period during any of it where we hadn't spoken regularly.  At its worst point I guess it was a couple of months at the most.

I think it might have been 10 months or more since we had last spoken and of course a lot can happen in that space of time.  And it had.

My Spanish girlfriend had moved from Manchester to Brussels and by now I was working and living in London.  I would regularly travel over to Brussels for weekends with my girlfriend, maybe once every 2 weeks, but the distance and separation was clearly beginning to exert additional pressures on that relationship.

We decided to spend the weekend just outside London at a country hotel.  I think I thought it was to help restore our once very close and happy relationship, but the reality was that it was for my girlfriend to end our relationship on 'neutral territory'.  It was not a very happy weekend for me.

So on the Sunday afternoon of that weekend we parted and I returned to my flat in Bayswater.

Monday morning came and I went off to work at the Ministry of Defence in London.  At lunch time I would normally go for a sandwich with my work colleagues but that lunchtime I just wanted to be with myself, so I took myself off for a walk around the area.

The Ministry of Defence is located in a prime area of London on Whitehall, just opposite Downing Street and a very short walk form the Houses of Parliament, so it's quite a pleasant area to walk around and collect ones thoughts.

I remember so very clearly exactly where I was when what happened next occurred.  I was walking back to work, along the embankment when the mobile phone in my pocket rang (phone technology had been developing rapidly over this period).  I had no Idea who it was from the number or screen info, but when I answered with my usual greeting a very familiar voice said a very familiar sentence.

Graham, it's me................Marie.

If you can imagine what was going through my mind at that point.  Less than 24 hours earlier I had split up with my girlfriend, I was not feeling the best I have ever felt, I hadn't spoken with Marie in almost a year and here she was calling me.  Why ? And why now ?

After the call I spent quite some time thinking about everything which had happened between Marie and I that day and was slightly disturbed by the timing of her call.

Was it just coincidence, that the very day after the ending of the relationship which caused me to withdraw from Marie, she calls or was it fate ?

I played around with this in my mind time and again, but decided after all that this had to be the last chance for me to be honest and direct with Marie.

Well we agreed to meet at a hotel called The Runnymede which we both knew, close to our old workplace in Old Windsor.

We spoke on the phone one more time before then and during the call I could hear what I thought was you in the background making noises.  They didn't sound much like the noises of what would have probably been a three or four year old girl at that point, but I dismissed it from my mind as just one of those things.

In my mind I had come to a decision.  My relationship with my Spanish girlfriend had been dying a slow death over the last few months and eventually ended.  I had missed so many opportunities with Marie and you over the years and her timing was just perfect.  Coincidence could have nothing to do with this at all, but maybe fate was having it's last throw of the dice to finally bring us together. (You would think from this that I read horoscopes and went to fortune tellers, but nothing could be further from the truth.  I just think that it was one of those 'moments in time' things, when emotionally drained and feeling a little sorry for oneself one seeks to find deeper meaning in coincidental happenings)

I figured that it was about time that Marie and I got together once and for all, put all of these little games behind us and so when we met, I would ask her to come and live with me and marry me.

So there it was.  All decided.

Well I think that it was only a few days later that we met at the hotel.  I had been there for a little while and full of anticipation.  Of course there were many things going through my mind whilst I was waiting for Marie to turn up.  How would she look ? Would she be bringing you with her? What had she been doing with her life ? All of that kind of stuff.

I was sat in my car in the car park of the hotel, facing the entrance, so that I could see all the cars coming in and I knew what kind of car she was driving, but it didn't stop me checking every make and colour as it entered the car park.  Eventually she arrived and found a space which was just a few metres away from me.  As she was reversing the car into the space I started to get out of the car and walk over to her.  By the time I get close to her car she was already out and taking something out of the passenger seat.

It was Josh in his carry cot.

I immediately knew that all of those plans I had for this meeting were not even going to get close to being discussed.  This was going to be an interesting meeting.

Well we had a good catch up, and it was lovely to see Marie again, and there was a feeling of deja vous about it all, sitting in a hotel cafe with a small baby and Marie.  But clearly there was another agenda for Marie.

We talked at length about you of course, and discussed a lot of what I've shared with you here.

There was one occasion a year or so previous to this meeting when Marie confided in me that she thought you might be my daughter.  What we discussed now, with Josh on the scene, oh and she had married Paul of course (just by the way) she wanted to get a few things in both your life and hers straightened out for good.

The two main things which needed to be addressed were that, at that time you had the surname of Marie's first husband and the second was that if indeed you were my daughter, there would be no reason for either you or she to continue to have contact with him.  I understand that when you visited his home you were more than a little distressed by it and so if we could put an end to it, life would be so much easier.

Given the agenda I arrived with, this was quite a departure from what I thought I was going to be faced with.  Regardless it was evidently clear to me the priority which was now needed to redress some of my previous mistakes.  Of course I agreed to take a DNA test and we agreed that we would work together to try to achieve what was best for you in your very happy family unit.