It was clear to me from the point when I received that letter, that whilst Marie knew where I was at the time when you left England, it would be more than likely by the time you came back, if you came back at all, that I probably would not be at the same address.

I have always kept the same mobile phone number, even when I have been given other ones, but that is no guarantee of being found.

Additionally, and I don't wish to be morbid, there was the possibility that I could die before you had the opportunity to contact me.

I have watched many TV programmes showing people who have grown up not knowing their natural parents and who have needed to find out about them at some stage.  It upsets me greatly to think that you may at some stage be in the same situation as them, although I continue to have faith that when you want to find out about me your mum and dad will encourage and help you to do that.

But with me moving from the last address they knew me to be at,  this web site is I believe the best solution.  I can keep my contact details current here, but should the worst happen and I'm not around, then I hope it will give you an insight into who I am, how you came to be and how much I love you.

More importantly I want you to understand the circumstances and reasons why things worked out as they did in those first few years. I believe it is very important for you to understand just how much I loved you and Marie then and now, and how those missed opportunities, unfortunate circumstances and plain old bad decisions came together to form the events I have documented here.

Moreover, I want you to know that you were never deserted by your father.  He just never knew at the time that he had a daughter.

You were conceived out of love and I have continued to love you for every single day of your life.  My mother asked me specifically to say that although she has never met you, she loves you just as much as her other grandchildren, whom she loves dearly.

Politicians will often say 'never say never', but in all honestly there will NEVER be a time when I will not want to be contacted by you.

Whatever the level of contact you want will be fine with me, but above all, never ever have any fears or hesitations about getting in touch with me.

I love you,  I miss you and I look forward to hearing from you and meeting with you just as soon as you're ready.

November 2002